Archive for April, 2006
Saturday, April 29th, 2006
Cleo’s Most Eligible Bachelor of the Year 2006 is……
Jeremy Little.
He is really quite cute, I mean just look at his dimples man. Cute giler.
When I first went through the “list” I meant to vote for him. Even filled out the nomination form and everything. Just never sent it out. Idiot. But it’s the thought that counts right?
I got pictures with just about 1/5 of the bachelors. So dissapointing. They were all always damn busy, constantly surrounded by swarms of women AND men, getting their GAME on. Damn ridiculous.
Hard to track the bachelors down one by one also lah. Didn’t bring my magazine and didn’t switch on my stalking skills.
I failed Paparazzi Stalker 101 miserably. 
But I did manage to shamelessly take pictures with at LEAST some of the HOTTEST guys in the list.
Why, thank you thank you. *bows*
Joe, gua ada cium Ben Ibrahim untuk lu. Dia tu cium aku balik, tau? Jangan jealous. That fucker is HOT. Like after the volcano erupts smokin’ hot sial. It’s too ridiculous. Just typing his name out makes me all….. oh baby …. will somebody turn on the fucking air-conditioning here ALREADY! *fans self furiosly*
Got some big names there also that night. The Wan sisters. Serena C. Rashid Salleh. Reshmonu…. if there were more I didn’t recognise them. But it’s not like they recognise me either…. hehehe.
This is my second time meeting Reshmonu up close and personal. He had some audition going on for his “Hey Wally” video some time back and they needed “sexy girls”. I tried out for because dancing is only like my FAVOURITE THING TO DO EVER. Er.. I didn’t read the “sexy girls” requirements properly so when the music went on I danced like how I would usually dance, emulating a freaking baboon with cili padi up its ass. I’m not really good at dancing “slutty sexy” anyway. Apperently he remembered me….. either that or he was just being really nice. 
And have I mentioned that Bachelor Number 3 is the sweetest ever? Well I need to say it again. Nicholas IS the sweetest ever. Ever. EVER. Thank you so very much!
Picture updates soon.
Related:
Ineligible Fags
Bash The Bachelors.
The Cleo Bachelor Bash (LOTS of pictures)
Randomness |
Thursday, April 27th, 2006
….. only if you WANT to.
Well, I have PASSES to crash “The Bachelor Bash”, the party which takes place after the “crowning” of The Cleo Bachelor of 2006.
Passes are important. Passes makes me happy. Passes gets you IN to the damn party.
This party will be a great opportunity for us to hunt down our favourite bachelor, corner him and ask him the questions we’ve been dying to ask,
“Can I bear your children?”
“Do you like it up the ass?”
“Does this dress make me look fat?”
“Do you mind it if your girl occasionally feasts on human children?”
Etc. Etc.
We ALL want answers, damnit. And this is probably THE best and ONLY time to find out for ourselves whether or not the bachelors are gay. Or married bastards. Or married gay bastards.
Information of The Bash are on the following self-explanatory pictures.
Front of pass
Back of pass
Details in detail
Sorry kids.
I reckon I have more readers than real friends. Well, at least SOME of you who hang around here pressing that F5 button till it corrode ARE REAL HUMAN READERS, right? RIGHT?
So not wanting to waste any of these “precious” passes I’m giving them away to the first 7 (SEVEN) people who email me at
aphroditus (at) gmail (dot) com
Passes are compliments of Bachelor Number 3 (who by the way, IS NOT GAY, and said it so, TO MY FACE. I mean, dudes, if the man says he ain’t gay, AND bribes me with free stuff - HE AIN’T GAY. Hehehe). Nick is DAMN sweet. Like an oversized lollipop. Like 10 teaspoons of sugar in a cup of coffee. Like icing on cake.
I SHOULD be there (IF my own bloody friends are willing to go with me, fucking bitches), trying my luck at camwhoring in every shameless black-mail worthy poses EVER with every “eligible” “guy” I can get my filthy paws on .
If you’re there, nudge me, we’ll take pictures and I’ll plaster it all over my site too, without your permission of course.
AGAIN!
IF YOU WANT PASSES!
EMAIL ME AT aphroditus (at) gmail (dot) com!
DO IT! DO IT NOW!
(subject to availability)
Related:
Ineligible Fags
Short One - Bachelor Bash Update.
The Cleo Bachelor Bash (LOTS of pictures)
Fun & Booze |
Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
I am about 156cm. Maybe 154.
That’s about 5 feet 2 inches. Or 1 inch.
MAXIMUM.
Maybe much shorter. I don’t know.
If you didn’t know that I was short before, NOW you do.
I blame it on the lack of eating babies when I was younger. The babies I consume now all go straight to my hips.
So, the next person who exclaims “OMFG YOU ARE SO SHORT” or anything remotely similar to that will get gang-raped by a horde of horny male orang-utans artificially stimulated with 10000cc’s of SEX HORMONES.
I am fucking sick of people acting all surprise and shit at how short I am. It’s not like I have a snout for a nose. Or pointy elf ears. Or 3 extra arms. Or an embedded twin on my back. Or that half of my body is covered in green slimy fish scales.
I’m. Just. Short.
It’s not even funny anymore.
Freakingly tall poeple deserve to be in travelling circuses anyway.
You heart-eating bastards.
The proper term is “petite and cute”, OKAY!
Class dismissed.
Thoughts & Rants |
Friday, April 21st, 2006
So the cast of The Homecoming and a bunch of bloggers met up for koktokking and drinks last Sunday at the Bulldog which was somewhere around Sri Hartamas.
3 of us, Suan, Paul and I were the first to arrive at the joint at about 4pm. Suan just had her ear cut open so she couldn’t have any alcohol because of her antibiotics and was whining like a pregnant bitch with a craving for pickled nutmeg. Being the self-sacrificing GOOD friend that I naturally am, I drank for TWO to make up for her loss.
We had half-thought that the cast would FFK us, because it was all cold and wet outside from the storm earlier. Well.. they didn’t. Hence, the lack of hatred and profanities in this post. Heh.
Of course, being freaking chronic “bloggers” Suan and I took turns forcing the casts to camwhore with us, which they docilely complied to. Thankfully too, otherwise things could get a little messy when I take out the cuffs and leather spiked whips.
Turns out that they were more of a camwhore than us. -_-”
PICTURES!
Patrick Teoh aka Uncle Sam.
Patrick arrived the earliest and entertained us with stories from his past. A bloody natural camwhore/playwhore/blogwhore, Patrick is the funniest and nicest guy ever! So unlike his Radio 4 days when he’s constantly barking at his callers for being idiotic. *phew* I was a tad bit dissapointed that Min couldn’t make it though because she’s the sweetest, warmest thing ever and I like her to bits!
Ben Tan aka Teddy
Ben came in second. He whipped out a rather big sophisticated looking tool and started shooting at us. A lot.
Then 2 hours after the meet he posted up all his handiwork in the blog for all to see. Damn fast. Speedy Gonzales ain’t got nothing on him.
It’s here —> Click!
Jia-Wei aka Ruth
Oh my god. Jia-Wei is so damn hot in real life she makes it hard for a straight girl to stay straight. Didn’t even get to talk to her much that night as the other guys were all wrestling for her attention. I didn’t even stand a chance.
U-En aka Lenny
I liked U-En a LOT! He damn layan-ed me half the night. Of course I was the one who bugged him the whole time to be layan-ed but he was really nice as he didn’t pull his ALL hair out, yell at me or threaten me with a hammer or anything like that. AND he really has this wicked, subtle sense of humour. I like!!!
Suan doing her thang.
Suan you bitch. Stop stealing my men. How the hell am I EVER going to have a chance with my “happily ever after” if you keep luring the guys away from me like that you evil scheming fox. CATFIGHT. GRR.
Ian aka Joey
Ian arrived late because he was doing his hair. Ian’s version of hell would be a place with no reflective surfaces. Hahahah! Don’t punch my face Ian! Patrick said it one! I’m just quoting Patrick only! *runs*
Max aka Thor
Thor is really sweet! I had the pleasure of speaking to him on the phone quite recently and he is so damn nice! I saw him in Gubra and I kept expecting his character to say something like “Where the hell’s the goddamn scissors” (like in the homecoming) in Cantonese but of course, he never did. Sian.
At the Bulldog, I asked him how old he was. He said, “63″
No way. You look at LEAST……….. 75 to me.
Gavin Yap aka The Director
Wah. When I first saw him I turned bright pink. Then he sat right next to me and I MUST’ve turned a few shades pinker. *sweats* So what if he was forced to seat next to me because there weren’t any other available seats left on our table? I mean, if he wanted to, he could’ve ALWAYS taken another chair right? But no! He sat next to me wei!
I didn’t think my blushing was so obvious until that SUAN pointed it out rather loudly, “FA! What’s wrong with you lah? Why so red?” Bitch!
We didn’t talk much because I was a little star-strucked and speechless. Haih. Gavin was like “Wah.. you really quite shy in real life har!”
Yessir.
Especially when I’m around someone I have a little crush on. Ahem.
*blush blush*
Bugger came damn late and then left the earliest some more, Barely enough time for me to stare stalkingly at him also. Haih. Damn tak puas.
The bloggers.
Pinkpau is really young and damn cute. She makes me want to EAT babies.
MidniteLily was present too.. but she cabut-ted too early and we didn’t get a chance to camwhore together.
Of course THE TV Smith was around as he is always present at the most happening places! Bwahaha!
Personal Notes
As prettily decorated as it is, Bulldog’s service was shit. Order a drink and it takes about 5 billion years to come. To be fair, we were upstairs and were basically the only group there, the servers must’ve been damn busy downstairs or something. If that’s the case then, HIRE MORE PEOPLE LAH. Tius.
Don’t drink the Long Island Ice Tea. It tastes like dishwashing soap. What the fuck is wrong with bloody Malaysian bars? Every single bar I’ve ever ordered LIT from fucks it up utterly, save for one. TGI Friday’s. Best. Forever. Amen. Do you know other places with L33T LIT? Tell me, PLEASE.
And don’t ask for an Orgasm. It comes in one miserable shotglass. I prefer my Orgasms to come in multiples at once, thanks.
Don’t order food here on an hungry, angry stomach, unless you like the feeling of acid corroding your stomch lining till it BLEEDS.
Don’t watch too much MTV on the telly, even WHEN the Korean cutey, Rain, is dancing his heart out LIFE IN NY, while you’re meeting new people, because you’re there to meet the people, not watch Rain on telly. Bad bad girl. But OMG Rain is so hot. Look at that turn oooohhhh…. slurp. OI! Concentrate! Bad girl!
Don’t spend the whole night till the early hours of the morning losing drinking games and drinking like a fish because you LOST at drinking games on the VERY same day you’ll be meeting your idols because it leaves not a good impression…. 
/End Notes
So when’s the next drinking session, people? I think I need it already…..
Related:
Suanie
Paul Tan dot org
Camwhore!, Fun & Booze |
Tuesday, April 18th, 2006
Happy Belated Birthday KinkyBlueFairy!
I was there at her party to wish her in person last Friday!
to drink with her!
to touch her!
to camwhore with her!
*nyeh nyeh*
I can ALMOSt die happy. Almost.
The Fairy & The FA.
Her drinking level is very power. Don’t play play.
She looks tiny but can out-drink a lot of those old “drink whiskey with GRO by their side every night chinamen”.
Scary a bit.
When she’s drunk also so damn prim and proper one. Still smile smile. Still so ladylike. Not like some people. Lying on their BACKS, rolling around outside the PAVEMENT of a local club half passed out, half screaming “MERRY XMAS YOU FUCKING TWATS MOVE ALONG NOTHING TO SEE HERE” to passer-bys while showing dirty signs AND THEN vomitting on one Christmas Eve night……. er…… butitwasn’tme.
Joyce is seriously the nicest person ever. This was the first time I’m meeting her and she is so friendly that it makes it so damn hard to want to hate her. Even if she’s got the best job a girl would want. Even if she’s got the most flawless skin. The most perfect make up. And the hottest body. And the craziest dress sense. And the…. you bitch.
Can’t help but smile at her everytime she comes and talk to me.
I’m sorry I didn’t get to spend more than 15 minutes with you, though. You kept having to layan everybloodybody, some more it’s your birthday okay. Where the hell are your konchos to help you out man. Next time, you and me, we do coffee okay? Can? Can lah….
I had a lot of the Blue Lagoon stuff to drink. And I was quite happy.
Camwhoring Collage.
It was also my first time meeting Lainie! *blush blush*
And KinkyPugKevin!
Even managed to camwhore with some of the cast straight out of KinkyBlueFairy’s blog!
So shy lah. Meeting all this big big names. I damn kecik mayong only. *gushes*
There were TONNES of people there man. They were mostly into the arsty-fartsy people handling industries like the media and advertising.
Everytime they asked me what I did I’d be like “[Bean-counting android] (name of profession altered to protect the innocent)”
And they’d be like “…..”.
and I’d be like “Yeah I know. Sorry I’m not more interesting”
I felt like a damn mongrel in a pound full of purebreds. -_-”
One girl was like…, “You gotta be kidding me, right? I mean you definitely don’t LOOK like one”
And I’m like “……”
What are [bean-counting androids] supposed to look like ANYWAY?
If I ever quit, would somebody PLEASE offer me a job in media/advertising? I mean, I think I can DO this, this people handling job, at least definitely more than I can do computers & beans anyway. Feed me with some booze and I have the personality. I can talk AND smile. (Most) People don’t exactly feel like pushing my face into shit when they meet me the first time. I learn quick. I don’t mind the late hours. I can handle hard work. I can drink and party and dance.. and then come back to work again the next morning at 8.30am ON THE DOT when I have to (optimum productivity not guaranteed). I can also look quite nice if I try really hard enough.
Am shamelessly advertising myself here for a job okay, so that should also count for something - like the existance of some really huge metaphorical balls.
So? Got offer or not?
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