Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
Right, I think some camwhoring pictures are overdue.
Here are pictures as promised Cheesie! Thanks! 
Since android corporate slaves like me have just about, oh, NO creativity in our tiny little circuit systems, please feel free to add the cheesiest captions you can think of for the following photographs!
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Couldn’t stop checking her out man. She’s so sizzlin’ she makes me wanna shrivel up into a little dried up prune until I completely vanish off the face of this earth. And she was wearing that extra short teasing girly sweet pink peekaboo skirt paired with those crazy legs that go on forever, wah can just spontaneously combust and die. Oh my poor heart and I, we can’t take all that heat man. Ohmygod, I’m straight some more. Kepengsanan.
Sigh. Some more so sweet. So hard to dislike her lah, damnit!
It was a pleasure meeting you sweetie!
Muaks!
People |
Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
Oh god it was so cold this morning if I had balls it would’ve frozen blue and dropped right off. Overnight storms are the worst. Do I really need to go work today? Sigh. ZZZzzzz..
My tooth is out!
Yup. Tooth. Not teeth. The right one which was currently giving me problems. The dentist refused to take out both for me. Said something about me not being to eat or talk later. Wuss.
“You want to see dentist ar? For what?”
“Oh.. Just to check out my teeth, see need any extraction done or not”
“Which doctor?”
“uh. the nicest most gentle one lar”
I damn can not tahan pain. I gladly and openly admit I have no balls. More than anything, the anticipation, the whole IDEA of being in pain freaks me out so much that my body works on overtime to numb all my pain sensors with adrenaline or what other bodily fluids until I hardly even FEEL any real pain when THE time comes. Hahaha. Wuss.
So there I was on The Chair. With the sanitised green bib tied around my neck. It’s like waiting to be executed by the firing squad only.
I take a glance at all the glimmering metallic tools of the trade on the sliding table.
Pliers. Tiny sharp instruments. BIG sharp instruments. Weird painful looking instruments which looked like they were once used by the Japanese to torture our ancestors during their time here. Pliers. PLIERS.
I turn around and I see the nurse holding not one, but TWO metallic syringes the size of a baby’s arm. TWO. ohmygod.
Screw you h2g2. It’s time to panic. Panic. PANIC.
Dentist must’ve seen the look of terror on my face.
“Don’t worry lah. won’t feel a thing. injection might hurt a bit though, because you’re tight inside”
(wah lan. I didn’t pick that up yesterday from being all panic stricken, but that sentence maciam ada double entendres loh. ahem. )
So the bugger injected me twice. Which I hardly felt actually, because body already working overtime to produce anti-pain venom. Hahahahaha. But can feel lah, when the fella inject, the liquid going into my gum and ceiling of mouth. Very odd and bloody unpleasant. “not being able to feel inside of mouth” is definitely not in the list of my most favourite feeling ever… close to “nausea from overdose of alcohol the night before” and “excruciating pain from knee twisted at 90 degrees wrong angle”.
After the injection, wait lar. Wait for anaesthetic to take effect.
wait wait waitwaitwait WAIT wait Wait waitwaitwait.
Eh. Why can not feel my mouth one? Oh. Numb already. HAhaha. Jakun betul.
drool.
Violation of mouth commences. I close my eyes. Scared mar. Dowan to see. If I don’t see it, it’s not happening lar. Tah dah!
Okay okay. I cheated and took a sneak peek. Saw the bugger holding THE PLIERS. Quickly closed eyes again.
Can feel someone holding my head down. Trapping it from moving. Wah it feels very constricting. Violated. Vulnerable. Like bondage only. Mouth open big big. People stopping you from moving. Instruments entering and butchering the inner sanctum of your mouth.
Oh god. Old memories from episodes of The Twilight Zone flashed through the inner recesses of my mind. Flash flash flash.
Then.
Then I felt it.
HE WAS CRUSHING MY WISDOM TOOTH WITH THE PLIERS.
GRABBING IT HARD. CRUSHING IT. TWISTING IT. CRUSH CRUSH TWIST TWIST. TUG TUG TUG CRUSH SOME MORE. I CAN FEEL IT YEARGH. STOP STOP. CRUSH TWIST. ARGH. OMFG I CAN FEEL WHAT HE’S DOING TO MY TOOTH.
The carnage in my mouth was teasing the edge of my pain receptors. Coaxing me to feel the pain. I taste blood. Ohmygod somuchblood. I can hear the nerves of the tooth SCREAMING IN MY HEAD.
This is also definitely NOT the best feeling in the world.
MORE TUGGING CRUSHING FORCE IT OUT DAMNIT TUG TUG CRUSH ONE MORE TWIST.
Finally came out. I saw it. This bloody bleeding alien with roots sticking out.
“You know, normally, people only have one root sticking out of their wisdom tooth. You. Have. Three. No wonder so hard to come out”
Three. Bloody hell. If my knees were as strong as my wisdom tooth I would still be actively involved in other vigorous physical activities which I enjoy so much. Strong in useless areas. Weak in important areas. It’s fucking ironic, my life.
tiuleimahcheebai.
So anyways. I saw my tooth. And like Calvin, I didn’t feel very comfortable seeing a piece of my head held between the mouth of menacing pliers.
Rinse. spit.
Done! You can go home now! Here’s your one day MC!
Lies. It wasn’t done. The pain wasn’t done with me at ALL. The blood certainly wasn’t. I could taste the rust and salt of blood the whole day. With or without the gauze.
After the anaesthetic wore out, the throbbing sensation started lah. It’s like a migraine, except it’s in your mouth. INSIDE the gums… all the way to your head. Sore, tender, cavity migraine. Not fun.
Whole day makan bubur aje. Damn sian. Hungry every hour upon the hour. Late at night, can not tahan already, so make instant noodles. It’s not considered eating if you don’t chew your food. My stomach doesn’t recognise it as food. It’s all liquid if you don’t chew. Hungry.
But when chew on anything, can feel the uncomfortable throbbing soreness. Can still taste blood on everything. Screw it. At least stomach happy.
Today I eat mash potatoes for lunch. Can anybody tar pau some for me from Chillies? KFC jatuh standard already. Sniff.
Next time I shall take pictures of other wisdom tooth after extraction. If I remember.
P/s: Actually hor, it wasn’t THAT painful lar. Jangun takut. Don’t procrastinate! Get yours out at the nearest dental clinic today! 
Randomness |
Monday, May 29th, 2006
Okay, so.
For the past few weeks my wisdom tooth have been acting up.
Teeth, actually.
Left one. Right one. Upper jaw.
One week the right one would act up.
Then it would heal.
Then the left one acts up..
Then it’ll heal.
Now the right one’s acting up again.
It’s like my wisdom teeth has this fucken WWE tag team thing going on.
When it acts up the back of my mouth gets all inflammed and sore from the ulcers. Hard to bite. Hard to talk. Move mouth always bite into something fleshy. Pain. Pain. Pain.
I hate pain with a veangance. I suppose everyone does, unless you have some sort of a sick twisted fetish. But I’d like to think that I hate it more than most normal people. Like really REALLY, REALLY hate it. No, really. Like super duper seriously fucken hate it more than I hate the taste of Bombay Sapphire and that’s really mindfuckingly a LOT.
BUT. Am going to be a man this morning.
Am going to the dentist to have it checked out AND have them EXTRACTED them on the spot.
God. the anticipation of PAIN is a motherfucker.
This coming from the chick who gets cramps like a troll’s punching her uterus non-stop every 2 days in a month, and who might have to one day have to go through the pains of labour pushing this thing out into the world which is about 500 times bigger than the passage it comes out from. Shit. I HATE PAIN. I HATE THE WHOLE ANTICIPATION OF PAIN. ANTICIPATION IS ALWAYS WORSE THAN THE ACTUAL PAIN ITSELF CAN!
I’ve heard too many wisdom tooth related horror stories. Can write a book. Can make mini-series.
They always have one thing in common.
PAIN. PAIN. PAIN. PAIN. PAIN.
Sigh. Am going now. I can do this. I can do this I can do this Icandothis.
Hmm. On the bright side, might even be out of commission for a few days also, eh?
*imagines syringe in mouth. imagines pliers in mouth. imagines pain. Pain. PAIN*
Shit. Damn scared lah.
I need a shot of vodka.
Make it FIVE damnit.
(All five of you got stories ar? Share share a bit. I’ll read it when I’m at HOME while enjoying the intimate numbing pain in my mouth. :()
Randomness |
Saturday, May 27th, 2006
Lazy to come up with something original. So here are 24 weird facts/things/habits about me instead. Yeay memes.
So move along now. Nothing to see here.
1. When it rains, sometimes I have the strongest urge to just walk under it. It’s one of those wannabe-tortured-poet kinda thing. And it’s fun. Plus it could get me sick, so I won’t have to go to work. Yeay!
2. When I was young I thought every family would have just one boy and one girl. When they grew up eventually they would marry each other. It scared the shit out of me when I found out that this wasn’t true and that I HAD TO MARRY A COMPLETE STRANGER one day.
3. I hate tea. Every sort of tea is bad for me. Simply can NOT stand the bitter aftertaste. Yes I am a bad, bad, bad chinese.
4. I sleep with a pillow that’s been with me eversince I was old enough to make any memories.
5. I light up lanterns for every single Mooncake Festival, even when I was studying in Sydney. Light them up. Hang them up. Switch off the lights. They are so pretty.
6. I sing everywhere, anytime. Badly.
7. I have a habit of putting one leg up when I’m eating. I only do this at home, or when I think other people can’t see it. Blame it on my trishaw-pulling, sidewalk-spitting ancestors.
8. I have itchy hands. I like touching things. It has gotten me into a lot of trouble when I was a kid, because I tend to break a lot of things too. Mum is a little too wary of my destructing tendencies, even till now. “Put that down! It’s brand new! You might break it!”. Sigh.
9. I didn’t start drinking properly / dancing in clubs until I was about 21. In fact, I HATED the taste of alcohol. Too strong and bitter tasting, I thought. HAhahaHAhaha.
10. I’ve always wanted to get myself into some kinda serious physical injury to warrant a major surgery and a few night’s stay in the hospital. Some kinda sick curiosity thing. That is until one fine day I ruptured my ACL, got it all cut open, and spent the whole night in bed delirious and partially out of my mind from the vomitting thanks to the after effects of anaesthesia and excruciating pain. 6 months of physiotherapy later - I’m not curios anymore.
11. I like the smell of joss sticks. My eyes glaze over and it gets me nostalgic. It reminds me of my dad’s kampung, my late granddad and chinese new year.
12. I think I make the worst female ever. I have zero fashion sense. I suck at shopping. I have less than 5 pairs of shoes. I’m not too fond of strappy high-heeled sandals, sneakers ftw. Hardly ever wear skirts/dresses, pants ftw. Basically, I suck at all these girly things. That’s probably what happens when you grow up with a boy.
13. I used to play a lot of computer games. Never really any good at them though, but they were fun. I still think Starcraft is the bestest strategy game EVER.
14. You will NEVER catch me watching a horror movie. EVER. Have too much of a vivid imagination and it keeps me awake at night.
15. I love riding on motorbikes with the wind in my face.
16. I can’t swim.
17. … nor ride a bicycle.
18. I enjoy doing silly little things like blowing soap bubbles, origami, hand crafts and copy drawings.
19. I played chess. But not anymore. Haven’t touched it in at LEAST 5 years.
20. Was a big fan of David Copperfield, so I wrote him a fanmail. Must’ve been 6? 7? Used my nicest smelling stationary, stuck on my favourite most glittery sticker on it, told him how much I loved him and that he was great. THEN I proceeded to, get this, put ther letter in a NEWSPAPER RACK, and PRAYED really hard for god to send it straight to him, because I didn’t have his address! HAhahaha.
21. I love the smell of baby products. And babies.
22. I’m quite terrified of being alone in the dark.
23. I hold my chopsticks and pens weird.
24. I’m really shy with strangers and I won’t say much the first time we meet. Unless I have some liquour in me. People often mistake that for “lansi”ness. My mum says I have a lansi face by default if I don’t smile. Well, thank goodness I smile a lot.
Wah. This has been a pleasant self-rediscovery.
Well, have a great weekend!
Randomness |
Thursday, May 25th, 2006
Sometimes when I’m out doing my own thing, I’d bump into/come across all these Form6/college/uni kids.
Can anybody relate to how a maggot midget of a Form 1 kid feels when they come across or hear about those towering boisterous Form 6 kids? That tiny feeling. That feeling of awe. That hope that you’d someday grow up soon and be exactly like them.
I look at those kids and I still feel like that Form 1 kid, young and raw.
Then I’ll wake up and realise that I’m at LEAST 7, SEVEN fucking years OLDER than them.
How the fuck did I forget that I’m already a working ADULT of 26?
Ridiculous!
Thoughts & Rants |
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