Hello boys and girls who oft visit here because you have absolutely nothing else better to do, love pain and have too many IQ points to kill.
Have little bit of dilemma.
Have new job which actually requires me to dress up like I actually have a job.
Then slowly. slowly. I might have to get a fucking PDA. Might. Gah. Money going out faster than I’m earning it.
This new job is really costing me a lot of moolah. MOOLAH I DON’T HAVE! Aren’t jobs SUPPOSED to earn you moolah? Did I get the concept wrong here?
STOP DIGRESSING YOU CRAZY DRUNK WOMAN!
_koff_
In my previous job of FIVE YEARS, I sat on my desk 9-5 in front of the computer and speak to NOBODY. Had I showed up in a furry costume in the shape of a baboon’s backside, nobody would’ve ever noticed; unless I set myself on FIRE and run around the department, very, very, VERY slowly while SCREAMING my head off, flaying my heads about like a madman….. ON FIRE.
With the new job, I’ll actually have to get off my ass and TALK to humanoids on a regular basis.
So new PRESENTABLE threads are required.
Please recommend me where I can go to buy the following:
1. 2-3 full suits (dark grey, beige/cream, dark brown) (and suits should preferably be pants/skirt/blazer combo) (Update: I can NOT wear Zara suits - Too long. Even their smallest size makes me look like I’m swimming in it. Spade’s (KLCC) selection of suits VERY YUCKY THIS TIME. Other suggestions please?)
2. shirts (3-5)
3. girly corporationey blouses (??!?!?!) which I can wear instead of fucking shirts all the time inside my suit.
3. pumps (closed toed shoes lar)
…..and MUST meet the following requirements.
1. Will NOT cost me an arm a leg of my future newborn ie, Affordable ie, CHEAP (I hate paying full price).
2. Inspite of it being affordable, FITS WELL for someone of my koff STATURE (I wear a size midget with fat legs).
3. Of decent quality (I am a VERY rough midget)
So don’t lah try to be all funny and say stupid things like “go pasar malam”. Also, don’t ask me to tailor-make either. I am NOT made of money. Nor do I have the luck of being doted upon by a sugar daddy who only requires my time in return, and nothing else.
Please, please help this hopeless girl with fashion senses akin to a colour-blind rabied inbred mongrel sewer rat.
Actually, giving me money would help a tonne too.
And in return I swear upon the castle of grayskull that I’ll put enough pictures of me camwhoring in my new threads to make you lose your sleep FOREVER.
OMG TOTALLY TWISTING MY ARM HERE JUST TO GIVE YOU THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY! BECAUSE IN FIREANGELISM YOUR HAPPINESS MATTERS!!
Well, sorta.
Tenkiu berry much!
I RUV NEW YORK!
^_^ V
(can’t fucking believe Heroes’ episode 19’s gonna take so long to air!)
Chow Yun Fatt REEKS SO MUCH asskicking coolness from every PORE of his body that even in a fucking gay furry PENGUIN costume he’ll still be cool enough to freeze hell over ANd kick your ass! WOOT!
The second Pirates really sucked though. One heckuva bloody long filler which made my backside damn pain from sitting down for so long only to realise that the fucking movie was ALL ABOUT THE LAST FIVE MINUTES.
Call me Eeyore, have a feeling this one isn’t gonna be great either, cause it’s Hollywood and we all know Hollywood has a tendency of fucking it up by cashing it in.
But like a lemming drawn to the edge of the cliff - I CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH IT OMG!
YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T WAIT EITHER!
It’s gonna be ARRrrrhhhhsome!
CHOW YUN FATT ROCKS MY SOCKS!!!!!
Hmmm. If Chow Yun Fatt and Jack Sparrow engaged in a duel, your money’s on who to win? Why?
If you have sworn upon your own blood and the sacrifice of poultry to not watch ANY movie this year, BREAK IT. BREAK THAT FUCKING VOW NOW AND GO WATCH 300! IT IS WORTH EVERY DROP OF BLOOD YOU’VE SPILT AND EVERY FEATHERED CREATURE YOU’VE EVER SLAUGHTERED.
A movie adaption of Frank Miller’s graphic novel, 300 tells the story of King Leonidas who took a “walk” with 300 of his strongest men as “bodyguards” to stop the Persians from invading his land.
If you are a fan of SinCity, Gladiator and Braveheart, you will, beyond any reasonable doubt, fall head over heels over 300, even borderlining MAD LUST.
It is the best damn shit you’ll feast your eyes upon evAR.
The dark, solid red from their capes and blood (OH GOD SO MUCH BLOOD) stood out EVER SO BEAUTIFULLY against the washed out yellow-hued background. For an almost monocolour movie the colours were so rich you could almost EAT them. It wasn’t just a COMIC. It was pure art. It was art COMING TO LIFE.
Highlight of the movie were the bloody battle scenes, which basically, IS the ENTIRE MOVIE. Like a perfectly choreographed ballet/acrobatic routine (less tutus and the pointe shoes; add gallons of blood and violence), it was nothing short of BREATHTAKING. From the first moment you see the Spartans’ raising their shield in their first battle, you’ll realise that it’s gonna be a ride of fucking RAW PERFECTION. To see the men suspended in mid-air for one tenth of a second in slow-mo right before he pierces his spear into his enemy in real-time, splattering his dark red blood everywhere: Pure Unadulterated Magic. Bloody. Brutal. Graceful.
Mind-Fuckingly Beautiful.
The soundtrack which accompanied these fight scenes were so powerful it makes you want to JUMP UP, grab the nearest OBJECT, TEAR your cothes off, RUN into the screen, YELL a war cry and join the Spartan army to kick some Persian ASS. It MAKES you thirsty.
The exaggerated, perfectly sculpted bodies of the men akin to greek gods. The mutant beasts of your nightmares. The god-king which reminds you of the Unraveler from the second act of Diablo 2. All these fantasy characters were you can actually believe that THEY COULD BE REAL. That a man could be 4 head taller than you and still look normal. That elephants the height of a 10 storey building walk among us. That men of such valour, such passion, such fierce strength, such insane loyalty; could ever exist in this world.
Sure the lines were pretty damn cheesy and predictable. Sure all the steamy sex scenes were cut off. But you won’t CARE. All these tiny shortcomings are all negligible to how beautifuckingful this movie is, if ever a violent blood-thirsty war movie can ever be described as beautiful. Your only real regret would be that it ran for too short (less than 2 hours).
There’s just not enough adjectives or superlatives in the English language to desribe how awesometastic this movie was.
I fucking can’t wait for the original director’s cut to come out so I can get my grimy paws on it.
I WANT THE GRAPHIC NOVEL NOW.
And Hello Faramir! You’re looking very hot indeed!
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