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October 30th, 2008
Ohai I’m back in Malaysia for a bit. So the singapore counter will be stopped for a moment.
Let’s take this opportunity to tackle an issue.
Dear Readers From Kennysia:
There is a sudden influx of curious readers thanks to Mr Kennysia who pimped my blog last week (Thanks KS). No doubt that most of you readers are new to my blog and are highly likely to be Singaporean. Not just any singaporean, but a very young, loyal one. So you expect nothing but praises about your great your country. Hahaha. HAHAHA. Hah. Obviously that is not that case here. As such, I sense that most of you are very upset (in a controlled way) about how much I bitch about Singapore because you don’t know jackshit about me or my style of writing. But I am generous and kind, so I’ll give you a quick explanation of how this silly little blog works.
Please be assure that as much as I bitch about Singapore, I bitch about Malaysia as much if not more. Eventhough you don’t see that much in my “Singapore Days” posts but in my every other BAU (business as usual) posts I bitch about Malaysia. It’s just the way I am. I BITCH ABOUT EVERYTHING. So if my style of writing irks you, and you feel the strongest urge to stab my eyeballs with a pen after reading my posts, please do yourselves and your blood presure a favour by just going away. This goes for you too, new Malaysian readers who are upset when I bitch about our beloved tanahair. If you can’t take the sarcasm or the causticness or the crude unfunny jokes, just fuck off lah. I’m not in desperate need of your eyeballs. Or the traffic. Or the money from the traffic, okay? We’re clear? Good.
Regular blog transmission:
I now understand why Malaysians and Singaporeans are always bitching about how each other’s country not being good enough. How we don’t do that as much to the other countries we visit. The problem is that we were once a country, and at some point of time shared the same history, culture, food, people, everything. I suppose when everything looks the same, feels the same, it’s not wonder people expect things to be the same. And the problem is that it can’t because eventhough we are similar, we are not exactly alike. In fact, we have not been a country for over 40 years!
At the end of the day, we should learn how to manage our own expectations of each other’s country. But until that day comes, the bitching will continue. Which is perfectly fine by me. 
My mum commented how healthy I looked. Not in the fatter sense, but in the “better skin” sense. It’s probably because of the clean Singapore air. Which I’m really starting to miss. Meanwhile, I’m home stuffing my face with our overly tasty food. I miss our unhealthy junk. YUmmy yummy yum yum. Ok this blogging thing is taking too much time away from my eating. Less blog, more face stuffing. Kthxbai.
Fireangel |
Thoughts & Rants |
October 28th, 2008
Finally had my first taste of MOS cheeseburger (not the rice one)! Okay which one of you jokers told me it was the greatest thing ever? Come here and say that to my face so I can freaking punch your face in you bitch, hehe! It’s very, very salty. So salty that my tongue feels like it’s been scraped with sandpaper made out of rock salt. Why is food here like opposite extremes one. Either tasteless or too damn salty. Yeah I know you guys always complain that our sauces are too thick, too sweet, too salty too much msg, too herbally, too spicy, basically just too much of everything. But we at least got variety lah… here it’s just fucking SALTy, or no taste. As the guys from icanhascheezburgr say, Ur doin’ it rong!!11
Also tried an Old Chang Kee curry puff today. Haih. Pastry too thick and dry. Inside no chicken. Only potato and a hint of curry taste. SO SAD LOH. Some more supposed to be famous wei. Curry puff also cannot run away from being “sanitised” ar. :*( I’m wondering if Chang Kee curry puffs are something locals will never eat and it’s more of a tourist con thing? Is it?!?!? Tell me the truth!!!!!
I was walking pass Shaw Centre today and I couldn’t believe it when I saw a McCafe. What the hell is a McCafe? It’s a freaking coffee house by Mcdonalds. Yeah the one that brought you all the Mcmeals. The cafe was FILLED with customers and people were actually lining up for their coffee!!!! Something is wrong with the picture lah. I mean a fastfood joint selling coffee what has the world come to? Next thing you know they’ll be selling books, apparels, compiling music CDs and coming up with their own cocktails. Mcbooks. Mcclothes. Mcmusic. Mccocktail. If we don’t stop it now Mcdonalds will take over the WORLD!!!! We’ll all live in a MCWORLD! NOOOO!!!
I spent some time at Borders (packed packed packed) because it was raining outside. Scott Adams came up with a new book, which is basically a compilation of all his blog entries from his website. I love it. He is too funny! I plopped myself next to the China fiction section and laughed by myself every 5 and a half minutes or so, and after awhile I realised the parameter surrounding me was considerably emptier. Oh well If they can’t take someone enjoying a book then fuck them.
Walked along the stretch of Emerald Hill to check out the Peranakan houses. They were pretty, and very well maintained. It’s like what you’ll see in some areas from KL and Melaka, except cleaner. Bugged Mr. Niamah while he was eating his bak kut teh @ the Canteen. I just had to ask how it was, and we all know the response to that :P. (Aiyak.. did I thank you for the drink ar? So rude so rude! THANK YOU!!!) Also finally walked the entire stretch of Orchard Road today. Malls, malls, malls. All selling the same homogenic stuff. People people people everywhere! People tend to overdress to go out shopping here don’t they?
I’m so tired of crowds man. Weekday have to fight with a sea of working people. Weekend have to fight with a sea of shopping people. Don’t you guys get ever get tired of this?
Time for bed, nights!
Fireangel |
Thoughts & Rants |
October 27th, 2008
Saturday:
I wanted to try Mos burger on Friday but the damn shop was closed. Closed at 8.30pm!!!! A bit too early right! -_-” This means that I still haven’t tasted the damn burger yet. It’s being very elusive!!! GRrr. Saya pantang dicabar!!!!
I had the most awesome Subway Melts for lunch. REAL. PIG. BACON. = HEAVEN. I almost died. Almost. Then was brought back to earth by the saltiness of the ham which kinda killed the mindblowing out of the world bacon experience for me.
So I was at Brewerks yesterday and the beer is still pretty awesome. Was there to just chill, read my book and have a couple of beers. It’s such a nice place to be at. The singapore river just on my right and the view of the refurbished pre-war buildings of clark quay right next to it. A long time blog stalker came by to say hi. We had an awesome conversation but he had to rush off earlier. He seems very normal in person, so I was glad for the company. Hehehe I know you’re reading this so hi! After paying for the pint and a mug later (no service charge! woot! is it the norm to leave tips? uh oh being the cheap malaysian I didn’t leave much kekeke.) to take a quick stroll around Clark Quay.
Did you know that in Clark Quay they have these giant steel structures which act as shades for the surrounding area? What I want to know is this - why hasn’t anyone noticed that these giant steel structures look like ginormous steel DICKS? At a certain angle it even look like it has a couple of balls. GIANT PENISES. BIG BIG DICKS. At least 10 of them were completely surrounding the area. And NO ONE even thought that those phallic steel things looked like DICKS? Highly fucking impossible. If you have never seen them, you must go there right NOW. Have a look and tell me that those don’t look like penises to you! I refuse to believe that my mind is the only one that’s fucked up. Hell, you don’t even need a fucked up mind to know that those things look like giant penises. THEY ARE SO IN YOUR FACE.
Clark Quay looks like a nicer and a combination of Bangsar One/Asian Heritage Row/The Curve. Plenty of boutique restaurants and classy drinking joints - very touristy. There’s even a Hooters…. which isn’t that great because the girls who work there don’t have the assets which Hooters are very well known for. But they do wear the really short corny tight shorts, at least.
Sunday:
Today, I spent half the day with my high school mate who has been here for 10 years which practically makes her Singaporean (hehehe don’t kill me ar). We walked and walked and walked… and I wasn’t sure where we went exactly but we did end up in the National Musuem (?). There wasn’t much to see and I was too cheap to pay for admission for the more interesting exhibitions. The musuem did look really pretty though. A lot of thought was put into making it really artsy and nice. Which was such a waste because inside, there really wasn’t much going on. Makes me wonder how museums from other countries are REALLY like. Our own national musuem sucks ass, as far as I can remember. But I’ve only been there once, which was 16 years back, haha.
It’s so easy to walk around here. It’s probably due to the general cleanliness of the place. Less traffic. Less smog. Less dirt. It’s And the fact that it was relatively cool, cloudy day, helped a lot too. My friend and I had a long chat about everything, and it was really nice because we haven’t really chatted in a long time. Been awhile since I’ve met up and hung out with any of my old school friends.
We walked pass many tiny little boutiques and came across a shop that had a bazaar going on. Scored myself a really gorgeous body hugging long, black cheongsam for an amazing price of SGD10. EVen after conversion it was a steal. Couldn’t believe that it was so cheap so spent a long time trying to look for flaws on it. Nothing!! Bought it and left happy.
So we popped by Funan Digital Mall. It looks like cleaner, brighter, more organised version of Imbi. But like Imbi, you just can’t run away from the damned overplayed fengtau songs blasting from sound systems everywhere, argh killmenow. We checked out the apple shop….. is 600 Sing for an Ipod touch cheap ar? 
We stopped by this shop which was apparently a favourite among the locals - Soong brothers? The salesguy was really trying to push the Panasonic Lumix FS5 camera to me. SGD 548 worth it or not? He’d throw in an 8gb extra memory, extra batt and some useless mini tripod. I checked on the Panasonic Malaysia retail that it should retail for only RM1099 something. If that’s really the case then I might as well buy it in Msia!!!!! Cis. Tipu me. Berani engkau!
Had the chance to sit in the public bus. Buses here don’t emit black smoke, are pretty clean and are aplenty. I even saw a woman driving a bus which was a very rare sight indeed. There are never any woman bus drivers in Malaysia. But of course, at rush hour, it’d be packed like sardines and you’d end up smelling other people’s sweat dripping from their armpits and having people violating your personal space, which is a given anywhere. The bus routes and system here actually WORKS. What are they doing right which Malaysia is doing so wrong? We can’t keep falling back to the whole “our country is bigger” excuse anymore lah, it’s getting really embarassing.
Grabbed a bus to Selegie to meet another friend who owns a comicbook shop in the Peace Centre. Selegie was FILLED with migrant Indian workers. It felt like I was in INDIA. At the corner mamak shop every single table was occupied with Indians. And the Peace Centre? Holy cow. One of the dodgiest buildings I’ve seen so far in Singapore. Lots of dodgy looking places which I bet is filled with GROs and unlegalised prostitution dens. The place was just reaking with the aura of seediness. Thank god my friend was there, I wouldn’t have felt safe being there on my own…. OHMYGOD this means I have finally found a place in Singapore which I don’t feel safe in!!!
I had dinner at the Heartlands (FINALLY! THE REAL LOCAL SCENE!).. at some place called Ghimmoh Road, which is apparently the “higher class” HDB area, where we had “tai chow” and lots of beer. Should I really tell you how the food is? Or can you already guess it? BLAND BLAND BLAND. You know what I really hate about food here. It’s not that it’s bland. It’s that it looks exactly like what it looks like back home and even smells like how it smells like back home. So there is already a certain level of expectation that it’ll taste like what it tastes like back home. That’s the worst bit. When you expect it to be something when it is completely NOT. Because after you had the first taste of the deliciously looking food all your expections crumble down like a pack of cards which got hit by a typhoon. Your heart sinks into your stomach, and your stomach sinks into the ground, and you just feel cheated. Unfulfilled. It’s NOT RIGHT TO LEAD SOMEONE ON LIKE THAT. Like a false promise, a tease. You can smell it, see it, but you can’t taste it, baby. ARGH. FRUSTRATING LOH. YEARGH HULKRAGE STOMP FOOD!
Cat! I SAW A STRAY CAT! So cute curled up on a chair and sleeping! I guess the authorities didn’t kill ALL strays, it missed this one hehehe. Even had the chance to use the toilet here - apart from it being wet, it wasn’t an iffy toilet likes the ones we have back in KL which makes you want to vomit the moment you smell a whiff of it. Maybe if I go deeper into the heartland….
My friend did used a word to very appropriately describe everything about Singapore - clinical. Everything in Singapore is just so sanitised and controlled. I have to agree with that.
Fuck it’s too damn late. Goodnight!
Fireangel |
Thoughts & Rants |
October 26th, 2008
So I was asked to go check out Dragonfly which was one of the five (?) dance halls in Saint James Powerhouse Station. Each dance hall had a theme, and the one that we went to had a Cantopop theme. In between r&b and hiphop DJ spun music there were live performances by import Chinese and local artistes sing popular mandarin and Cantonese songs….and in case you were wondering, this is NOT my sort of thing and didn’t know about the venue until we were already there.
One big similarity between Singapore and Malaysian clubbing seen is that crowd control is absolutely non-existent. Learning from KY I made a quick note of alternative exit doors, just in case.
Best thing about Singapore clubbing scene is that there’s no smoking in the club. If you have to fag, you’ve got to take it outside. One thousand points for Singapore. But the good part stops there.
This is the second time I’ve been clubbing in Singapore. The first time really sucked for me and I think I’ve written about that some time back. This second time wasn’t that great either and the whole experience was quite awkward for me.
Guys were buying girls drinks (these are strangers), girls were happily accepting them and expecting more. Both guys and girl were role-playing all the time. The guys playing the male chauvinist macho man while the girls were very “manja”, feminine and act all cute-like. I never noticed this in Malaysian clubs, but it seems very evident here. And this is strictly based on the observations I made last night. Actually, I see this even in the daytime, but that’s a story for another day.
Another thing, when we go clubbing back in Malaysia we’d go in a group with a mix of boys and girls. Sometimes we don’t have a table, so we’d “tumpang” one of the group member’s friend’s table, and the whole group will join in. But here, the guys only allowed the girls to tumpang, and basically told the guys to fuck off. It’s quite sickening. After that, all the enthusiasm for clubbing in me completely went out the window. Talk about in your face biased selfishness.
Dragonfly (I keep thinking that it’s called grasshopper for some odd reason) has the tiniest dance floor ever. And this is me talking, the one who keeps bitching about how small Malaysian dance floors are. Dragonfly’s dance floor makes the smallest ones back home look like football fields.
Wait, let me tell you the most fucked up thing – do you know what Singaporeans mix their whiskey with? Believe it or not - Green tea. Green motherfucking tea. Not coke, not soda. But freaking green tea. Let me share with and assure you that this is the most foul tasting gunk ever. How to describe the taste… it tastes exactly like what you expect drain water to taste. Why the Singaporeans really love this horrible concoction will completely baffle the average human mind.
My group wanted to leave at 4am. I was ready to go at 2. I found out that the Dragonfly club closes at 6am – much to my disappointment. I had wanted the night to end early. Do all clubs in Singapore close at 6am?
This outing is very close to making me swear of all Singapore clubs. Maybe I’ve just been to the wrong clubs, met the wrong crowd. You know what they say, third time’s a charm.
Fireangel |
Fun & Booze |
October 25th, 2008
You know I’ve always thought that there was something strange about the city area. I finally realized what it was. There are no strays here. No animals. No cats. Nor dogs. Nor rats. Nor birds. Oh wait, there are birds! I hear them amongst the trees at night, making their bird noises…. Hear them. But I don’t actually see them. For all I know, the sounds come from loudspeakers planted on trees to make us believe that they are other living creatures in the city besides us routine zombies. Hahaha, that actually sounds ridiculous, but this is Singapore leh (heh), it could actually happen! But yeah. If I don’t see the birds, they don’t exist. So where are all the strays at? Were they all caught and dumped in KL? Because there’s plenty of strays back home!
Why do Singaporeans always ask me if I am Singaporean. -_- Are they not exposed to Malaysians enough to know that there are Chinese in Malaysia? And what is so different between how a Singaporean Chinese and a Malaysian Chinese girl apart from the trendier upmarket clothes and more makeup worn by the Singaporean Chinese? Can somebody explain this to me please?
While ordering food at a hawker stall one needs to constantly remember to order in mandarin. Otherwise they look at you weird. Not the hardest thing to do, but takes a lot of getting used to since most orders made in KL/PJ are made in Cantonese and hawkers there would look at you weird if you speak to them in Mandarin, prompting them to ask if you are from out of town, tempting them to charge you a wee bit higher because you might not know any better, haha.
For such a bustling city/street of activity, the shops here close too damn early. I was looking for food at about 9pm, but many shops in the CBD area were already closed for the day. At 8.30pm. Poor me went home hungry and decided I was too lazy to go out again, so had instant noodles accompanied by my trusty AXN for dinner.
I was exposed to a new brand of rootbeer at lunch. It’s called Mug and it tastes almost like ANW rootbeer… and speaking of ANW and I have not seen a single ANW shop in Singapore! Why ar? Ooh, I’m gonna go try a MOS burger for lunch today since everyone has been leaving comments on my blog raving how they are the greatest thing invented since…… toasted bread with kaya & butter. Wait, is there really anything greater than tosted bread with kaya & butter?
I’ll pop by Sim Lim to check out their wares soon. I really need to get my hands on a camera so I can start taking pictures. It’s so dull to just keep reading words right? I asked around and the feedback was that Sim Lim was Singapore’s answer to our Low Yat plaza. There’s another also, called Funan complex or something.
Despite how we used to be one nation, people here are a little different. In their behaviour, character and mentality. I still can’t put my finger on it or articulate it, yet. It was quite evident when I was at a club last night, an upate which will be kept for the next post since this one is getting a little too long anyway. So wait for it.
Hmm, so what should I do today? Think I’ll go for a pint at Brewerks. Oh shit. Now you know where to find this bitch if you want to pelt rotten perishables at her for slagging off your country.
Fireangel |
Thoughts & Rants |
Not a Drunkard
$ For the Booze.
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